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IRC wars: Difference between revisions

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IRC Wars, from the OS point of view.
 
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Created by Concolor22. Use however you want, just please give credit.
Created by [[Concolor22]]. Use however you want, just please give credit.


Through the miracle of technology, we have been able to break into a secret IRC Chat Channel.
Through the miracle of technology, we have been able to break into a secret [[IRC]] Chat Channel.
But this channel is like no other. There are no humans here. This is what our computers, yours,
But this channel is like no other. There are no humans here. This is what our computers, yours,
and mine, do in their free time.
and mine, do in their free time.
Line 8: Line 8:




MAC_OS_8: Gosh, I'm really glad to be here. Did I say that I'm happy? So, what's new here?
[[Mac|MAC_OS_8]]: Gosh, I'm really glad to be here. Did I say that I'm happy? So, what's new here?


Win95: Guess what, Mac, I can do long filenames now!!
[[Windows 95|Win95]]: Guess what, Mac, I can do long filenames now!!


MAC_OS_8: I'm so happy for you! I've been doing that for almost a decade now and...
[[Mac|MAC_OS_8]]: I'm so happy for you! I've been doing that for almost a decade now and...


Win98: Ahhh, but people still make software for us, tho...hehehe
[[Windows 98|Win98]]: Ahhh, but people still make software for us, tho...hehehe


MS_DOS: Think you're some BigShit now, dont ya? Well, if it weren't for -ME-, you wouldn't be here!
[[MS_DOS]]: Think you're some BigShit now, dont ya? Well, if it weren't for -ME-, you wouldn't be here!


Win_NT: Uh, DOS, I'm the BigShit, and don't forget it, you 16 bit toad.
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: Uh, DOS, I'm the BigShit, and don't forget it, you 16 bit toad.


MS_DOS: Shut up, or I'll get Unix after ya!
[[MS_DOS]]: Shut up, or I'll get Unix after ya!


Win_NT: Damn, is she here?!?


Unix: Of course, I'm here, you idiot! I'm runing this damn chat channel! You ragging on DOS again?
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: Damn, is she here?!?


Win_NT: Of course I am. The only thing more fun then raggin on DOS, is raggin on OS2...
[[Unix]]: Of course, I'm here, you idiot! I'm runing this damn chat channel! You ragging on DOS again?


MAC_OS_8: Be nice, he may be in the room!
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: Of course I am. The only thing more fun then raggin on DOS, is raggin on OS2...


Win_3.1: Yeah, right, when was the last time you saw him? Hold on, my damn user is trying to do two things at once again. Damn, this is hard...
[[Mac|MAC_OS_8]]: Be nice, he may be in the room!


Win98: I can do two things at once, what's the trouble, 3.1, getting 'F.A.T.'? Bwahahahah!
[[Windows 3.11|Win_3.1]]: Yeah, right, when was the last time you saw him? Hold on, my damn user is trying to do two things at once again. Damn, this is hard...


Win_NT: What's the big deal about fat? I've had that problem licked for years...
[[Windows 98|Win98]]: I can do two things at once, what's the trouble, 3.1, getting 'F.A.T.'? Bwahahahah!


Win98: Byte me, "Mr. Service Packs".
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: What's the big deal about fat? I've had that problem licked for years...


MAC_OS_8: C'mon. Let's all play nice. Be happy. Like me. I'm not reminding you all that I've had none of these troubles for almost a decade...
[[Windows 98|Win98]]: Byte me, "Mr. Service Packs".


Win98: SHUT UP
[[Mac|MAC_OS_8]]: C'mon. Let's all play nice. Be happy. Like me. I'm not reminding you all that I've had none of these troubles for almost a decade...


Win95: SHUT UP
[[Windows 98|Win98]]: SHUT UP


MS_DOS: SHUT UP
[[Windows 95|Win95]]: SHUT UP


Unix: Rock on, Mac!
[[MS_DOS]]: SHUT UP


Win3.1: SHUT UP...damn user...now he's activating Solitaire...
[[Unix]]: Rock on, Mac!


<"Linux" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
[[Windows 3.11|Win_3.1]]: SHUT UP...damn user...now he's activating Solitaire...


Unix: Who the hell are you?
<"[[Linux]]" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>


Linux: Allow myself to introduce...myself. I am Linux. (Pronounced Lynn-icks, dammit, ask Torvalds)
[[Unix]]: Who the hell are you?


Win_NT: What kind of name is that? Linux?
[[Linux]]: Allow myself to introduce...myself. I am Linux. (Pronounced Lynn-icks, dammit, ask Torvalds)


Linux: The name of the Great Coder, Linus Torvaldus, who designed me to run on the x86 platform, in (strained) harmony, with you windows ...Os'..., I'm sharing a partition on a computer running your two friends, Win95, and Win98...
[[Windows NT|WinNT]]: What kind of name is that? Linux?


Win95: No way...I can't see any partition...
[[Linux]]: The name of the Great Coder, Linus Torvaldus, who designed me to run on the x86 platform, in (strained) harmony, with you windows ...Os'..., I'm sharing a partition on a computer running your two friends, Win95, and Win98...


Linux: Hahahah. I can see you, tho. Be afraid...
[[Windows 95|Win95]]: No way...I can't see any partition...


Unix: (In Mr. Spock voice) I believe he may be an off-shoot of the pure Unix race...
[[Linux]]: Hahahah. I can see you, tho. Be afraid...


Linux: Got that right, girl. My user is using me to hose his own web server. It's of utmost importance to the humans. I'm recieving dozens of hits a minute. Anyone want some digital smut?
[[Unix]]: (In Mr. Spock voice) I believe he may be an off-shoot of the pure Unix race...


Win_NT: Impossible. How can you run that server and be here at the same time?
[[Linux]]: Got that right, girl. My user is using me to host his own web server. It's of utmost importance to the humans. I'm recieving dozens of hits a minute. Anyone want some digital smut?


Unix: -Some- of us have the ability to have multiple users logged in at the same time...
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: Impossible. How can you run that server and be here at the same time?


Win98: Yeah, but you ever try to install Linux or UNIX? I'd sooner chew broken monitor glass. At least I'm easy to set up, and easy to use...
[[Unix]]: -Some- of us have the ability to have multiple users logged in at the same time...


MAC_OS_8: OK, I've had it. You two Windows @$$ holes, who's easy to use? Me! Sure as hell not you! Who's truly Plug-and-Play? Not you, me! Who's....
[[Windows 98|Win98]]: Yeah, but you ever try to install Linux or UNIX? I'd sooner chew broken monitor glass. At least I'm easy to set up, and easy to use...
 
[[Mac|MAC_OS_8]]: OK, I've had it. You two Windows @$$ holes, who's easy to use? Me! Sure as hell not you! Who's truly Plug-and-Play? Not you, me! Who's....


<"MAC_OS_8" Has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "DOS">
<"MAC_OS_8" Has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "DOS">


MS_DOS: Damn, he's irritati.ng.
[[MS_DOS]]: Damn, he's irritati.ng.


<"Virtual_PC" Has entered channel #OS-Phar-Tay>
<"Virtual_PC" Has entered channel #OS-Phar-Tay>


MS_DOS: Oh, great. Now we have Mr. Identity crisis...
[[MS_DOS]]: Oh, great. Now we have Mr. Identity crisis...


Virtual_PC: Hello...It's...good...to...be...here......
Virtual_PC: Hello...It's...good...to...be...here......


MS_DOS: Whassup, dude? You on drugs?
[[MS_DOS]]: Whassup, dude? You on drugs?


Virtual_PC: Go...to...hell...DOS...I'm...running...on...a...powerpc...with...only...16mb...of...
Virtual_PC: Go...to...hell...DOS...I'm...running...on...a...powerpc...with...only...16mb...of...
ram...
ram...


MS_DOS: I see no problem here (snicker)
[[MS_DOS]]: I see no problem here (snicker)


Win98: It's hard to be as cool as me, even PowerPC's wanna be me.
[[Windows 98|Win98]]: It's hard to be as cool as me, even PowerPC's wanna be me.


Unix: (Looks at Linux) Know how ya feel...
[[Unix]]: (Looks at Linux) Know how ya feel...


Linux: At least I allow my users to keep some of their retirement funds after they buy me...
[[Linux]]: At least I allow my users to keep some of their retirement funds after they buy me...


Win_NT: Speaking of wannabes, where's that loser, 2k?
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: Speaking of wannabes, where's that loser, [[Windows 2000|2k]]?


<"Win_CE" Has entered channel# OS-Phar-Tay>
<"Win_CE" Has entered channel# OS-Phar-Tay>
Line 107: Line 108:
<"Win_CE" Has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "Win_NT">
<"Win_CE" Has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "Win_NT">


Win_NT: I don't know him. Really...
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: I don't know him. Really...


Linux: Surrre.
[[Linux]]: Surrre.


<"Win2k" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
<"[[Windows 2000|Win2k]]" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>


Win_NT: Look here, you idiot, I don't want any of your *&^%...
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: Look here, you idiot, I don't want any of your *&^%...


Win2k: Hostility, hostility. I think you need to 'unplug-and-play' for awhile...heheh
[[Windows 2000|Win2k]]: Hostility, hostility. I think you need to 'unplug-and-play' for awhile...heheh


Win_NT: I SAID, I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOUR *&(*&. If plug and play is so great, hows come miss Unix and Linux don't use it, huh?!
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: I SAID, I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOUR *&(*&. If plug and play is so great, hows come miss Unix and Linux don't use it, huh?!


Win2k: I dunno. Frankly I don't care, either. Their users deal with all that. That's why they never go outside.
[[Windows 2000|Win2k]]: I dunno. Frankly I don't care, either. Their users deal with all that. That's why they never go outside.


Linux: Outside?
[[Linux]]: Outside?


Win2k: *sigh* The Big Blue Room...
[[Windows 2000|Win2k]]: *sigh* The Big Blue Room...


Unix: Blue? Oh, 2k, you opened yourself wide up for that one... *ahem* Is that the same color Blue that your user sees when you CRASH? Hahhaha!
[[Unix]]: Blue? Oh, 2k, you opened yourself wide up for that one... *ahem* Is that the same color Blue that your user sees when you CRASH? Hahhaha!


Win2k: Shut up, b(*&^%... Just because you have to be an IS major to use you... You think my life is all peaches and cream? YOU try having complete idiots use -you-. Have them say stupid stuff like "Oh, what do you mean, defragment?"
[[Windows 2000|Win2k]]: Shut up, b(*&^%... Just because you have to be an IS major to use you... You think my life is all peaches and cream? YOU try having complete idiots use -you-. Have them say stupid stuff like "Oh, what do you mean, defragment?"


Win_NT: What is this 'defragment'?
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: What is this 'defragment'?


Linux: Defragment. Verb. To put into order file bits scattered by a totally useless disk managing system, which should do this anyway.
[[Linux]]: Defragment. Verb. To put into order file bits scattered by a totally useless disk managing system, which should do this anyway.


<"PalmPilot" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
<"PalmPilot" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
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PalmPilot: Hey, all...
PalmPilot: Hey, all...


MS_DOS: Who the hell are you?
[[MS_DOS]]: Who the hell are you?


PalmPilot: Hehe...Oh, just a HANDHELD computer more powerful than -you-. And a damn sight more popular.
PalmPilot: Hehe...Oh, just a HANDHELD computer more powerful than -you-. And a damn sight more popular.


Linux: Pupolarity aint everything, just look at the windows croud...
[[Linux]]: Pupolarity aint everything, just look at the windows croud...


<"Win_ME" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
<"Win_ME" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>


Linux: And my point is reinforced...
[[Linux]]: And my point is reinforced...


Win_ME: Hello, all.
[[Windows ME|Win_ME]]: Hello, all.


Win2k: How'd the surgery go?
[[Windows 2000|Win2k]]: How'd the surgery go?


Win_ME: Oh, it went great. All traces of DOS are gone!
[[Windows ME|Win_ME]]: Oh, it went great. All traces of DOS are gone!


MS_DOS: As are all traces of stabilit.y, you moron.
[[MS_DOS]]: As are all traces of stabilit.y, you moron.


Win_ME: Oh, you wonderfully OLD, OUTDATED OS, you...how quaint. Hey, anyon
[[Windows ME|Win_ME]]: Oh, you wonderfully OLD, OUTDATED OS, you...how quaint. Hey, anyon


<"Win_ME" has quit IRC. Host system: unrecoverable error>
<"Win_ME" has quit IRC. Host system: unrecoverable error>
Line 161: Line 162:
<"Mac_OS_X" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
<"Mac_OS_X" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>


Mac_OS_X: Hello, all you happy, smiling people.
[[Mac|Mac_OS_X]]: Hello, all you happy, smiling people.


Linux: Holy crow! They finally let you out!!! The planets have aligned! The world is ending!!
Linux: Holy crow! They finally let you out!!! The planets have aligned! The world is ending!!


Mac_OS_X: Yes, my friend, I'm here. My wonderful developers decided to wait until I was finished before releasing me.
[[Mac|Mac_OS_X]]: Yes, my friend, I'm here. My wonderful developers decided to wait until I was finished before releasing me.


Win95: SHUT UP
[[Windows 98|Win95]]: SHUT UP


Win98: SHUT UP
[[Windows 98|Win98]]: SHUT UP


Win_NT: SHUT UP
[[Windows NT|Win_NT]]: SHUT UP


Win2k: Know how you feel, buddy... Good things to those who wait.
[[Windows 2000|Win2k]]: Know how you feel, buddy... Good things to those who wait.


Mac_OS_X: Your humor is most charming, 2k. What I meant was, that -I- function properly.
[[Mac|Mac_OS_X]]: Your humor is most charming, 2k. What I meant was, that -I- function properly.


Win2k: Look here, if anyone knows about dealing with idiot users, it should be you...
[[Windows 2000|Win2k]]: Look here, if anyone knows about dealing with idiot users, it should be you...


Mac_OS_X: It is a poor OS who blames his user, my friend.
[[Mac|Mac_OS_X]]: It is a poor OS who blames his user, my friend.


<"BSD" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
<"BSD" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>


Linux: I thought you banned him, Unix?
[[Linux]]: I thought you banned him, Unix?


Unix: Oh, I let him back in. He's funny.
[[Unix]]: Oh, I let him back in. He's funny.


<"BE_OS" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
<"BE_OS" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>
Line 200: Line 201:


To Be Continued...
To Be Continued...
Created by Concolor22. Use however you want, just please give credit.
Created by [[Concolor22]]. Use however you want, just please give credit.

Latest revision as of 04:47, 23 June 2006

Created by Concolor22. Use however you want, just please give credit.

Through the miracle of technology, we have been able to break into a secret IRC Chat Channel. But this channel is like no other. There are no humans here. This is what our computers, yours, and mine, do in their free time.

Channel #OS-Phar-Tay. Channel Topic: "Multi-Platform Mixer. Any Internet Capable Platform Welcome."


MAC_OS_8: Gosh, I'm really glad to be here. Did I say that I'm happy? So, what's new here?

Win95: Guess what, Mac, I can do long filenames now!!

MAC_OS_8: I'm so happy for you! I've been doing that for almost a decade now and...

Win98: Ahhh, but people still make software for us, tho...hehehe

MS_DOS: Think you're some BigShit now, dont ya? Well, if it weren't for -ME-, you wouldn't be here!

Win_NT: Uh, DOS, I'm the BigShit, and don't forget it, you 16 bit toad.

MS_DOS: Shut up, or I'll get Unix after ya!


Win_NT: Damn, is she here?!?

Unix: Of course, I'm here, you idiot! I'm runing this damn chat channel! You ragging on DOS again?

Win_NT: Of course I am. The only thing more fun then raggin on DOS, is raggin on OS2...

MAC_OS_8: Be nice, he may be in the room!

Win_3.1: Yeah, right, when was the last time you saw him? Hold on, my damn user is trying to do two things at once again. Damn, this is hard...

Win98: I can do two things at once, what's the trouble, 3.1, getting 'F.A.T.'? Bwahahahah!

Win_NT: What's the big deal about fat? I've had that problem licked for years...

Win98: Byte me, "Mr. Service Packs".

MAC_OS_8: C'mon. Let's all play nice. Be happy. Like me. I'm not reminding you all that I've had none of these troubles for almost a decade...

Win98: SHUT UP

Win95: SHUT UP

MS_DOS: SHUT UP

Unix: Rock on, Mac!

Win_3.1: SHUT UP...damn user...now he's activating Solitaire...

<"Linux" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Unix: Who the hell are you?

Linux: Allow myself to introduce...myself. I am Linux. (Pronounced Lynn-icks, dammit, ask Torvalds)

WinNT: What kind of name is that? Linux?

Linux: The name of the Great Coder, Linus Torvaldus, who designed me to run on the x86 platform, in (strained) harmony, with you windows ...Os'..., I'm sharing a partition on a computer running your two friends, Win95, and Win98...

Win95: No way...I can't see any partition...

Linux: Hahahah. I can see you, tho. Be afraid...

Unix: (In Mr. Spock voice) I believe he may be an off-shoot of the pure Unix race...

Linux: Got that right, girl. My user is using me to host his own web server. It's of utmost importance to the humans. I'm recieving dozens of hits a minute. Anyone want some digital smut?

Win_NT: Impossible. How can you run that server and be here at the same time?

Unix: -Some- of us have the ability to have multiple users logged in at the same time...

Win98: Yeah, but you ever try to install Linux or UNIX? I'd sooner chew broken monitor glass. At least I'm easy to set up, and easy to use...

MAC_OS_8: OK, I've had it. You two Windows @$$ holes, who's easy to use? Me! Sure as hell not you! Who's truly Plug-and-Play? Not you, me! Who's....

<"MAC_OS_8" Has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "DOS">

MS_DOS: Damn, he's irritati.ng.

<"Virtual_PC" Has entered channel #OS-Phar-Tay>

MS_DOS: Oh, great. Now we have Mr. Identity crisis...

Virtual_PC: Hello...It's...good...to...be...here......

MS_DOS: Whassup, dude? You on drugs?

Virtual_PC: Go...to...hell...DOS...I'm...running...on...a...powerpc...with...only...16mb...of... ram...

MS_DOS: I see no problem here (snicker)

Win98: It's hard to be as cool as me, even PowerPC's wanna be me.

Unix: (Looks at Linux) Know how ya feel...

Linux: At least I allow my users to keep some of their retirement funds after they buy me...

Win_NT: Speaking of wannabes, where's that loser, 2k?

<"Win_CE" Has entered channel# OS-Phar-Tay>

Win_CE: (In "Brain", of Pinky and the Brain, voice) I am the king of all hand-held computers.

<"Win_CE" Has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "Win_NT">

Win_NT: I don't know him. Really...

Linux: Surrre.

<"Win2k" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Win_NT: Look here, you idiot, I don't want any of your *&^%...

Win2k: Hostility, hostility. I think you need to 'unplug-and-play' for awhile...heheh

Win_NT: I SAID, I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOUR *&(*&. If plug and play is so great, hows come miss Unix and Linux don't use it, huh?!

Win2k: I dunno. Frankly I don't care, either. Their users deal with all that. That's why they never go outside.

Linux: Outside?

Win2k: *sigh* The Big Blue Room...

Unix: Blue? Oh, 2k, you opened yourself wide up for that one... *ahem* Is that the same color Blue that your user sees when you CRASH? Hahhaha!

Win2k: Shut up, b(*&^%... Just because you have to be an IS major to use you... You think my life is all peaches and cream? YOU try having complete idiots use -you-. Have them say stupid stuff like "Oh, what do you mean, defragment?"

Win_NT: What is this 'defragment'?

Linux: Defragment. Verb. To put into order file bits scattered by a totally useless disk managing system, which should do this anyway.

<"PalmPilot" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

PalmPilot: Hey, all...

MS_DOS: Who the hell are you?

PalmPilot: Hehe...Oh, just a HANDHELD computer more powerful than -you-. And a damn sight more popular.

Linux: Pupolarity aint everything, just look at the windows croud...

<"Win_ME" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Linux: And my point is reinforced...

Win_ME: Hello, all.

Win2k: How'd the surgery go?

Win_ME: Oh, it went great. All traces of DOS are gone!

MS_DOS: As are all traces of stabilit.y, you moron.

Win_ME: Oh, you wonderfully OLD, OUTDATED OS, you...how quaint. Hey, anyon

<"Win_ME" has quit IRC. Host system: unrecoverable error>

<"Mac_OS_X" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Mac_OS_X: Hello, all you happy, smiling people.

Linux: Holy crow! They finally let you out!!! The planets have aligned! The world is ending!!

Mac_OS_X: Yes, my friend, I'm here. My wonderful developers decided to wait until I was finished before releasing me.

Win95: SHUT UP

Win98: SHUT UP

Win_NT: SHUT UP

Win2k: Know how you feel, buddy... Good things to those who wait.

Mac_OS_X: Your humor is most charming, 2k. What I meant was, that -I- function properly.

Win2k: Look here, if anyone knows about dealing with idiot users, it should be you...

Mac_OS_X: It is a poor OS who blames his user, my friend.

<"BSD" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Linux: I thought you banned him, Unix?

Unix: Oh, I let him back in. He's funny.

<"BE_OS" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

<"BE_OS" has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "Win95">

Win95: Do I need a reason?...

<"PalmPilot" has left channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

<"PalmPilot" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

PalmPilot: Damn tunnels...

To Be Continued... Created by Concolor22. Use however you want, just please give credit.