IRC wars

Created by Concolor22. Use however you want, just please give credit.

Through the miracle of technology, we have been able to break into a secret IRC Chat Channel. But this channel is like no other. There are no humans here. This is what our computers, yours, and mine, do in their free time.

Channel #OS-Phar-Tay. Channel Topic: "Multi-Platform Mixer. Any Internet Capable Platform Welcome."

MAC_OS_8: Gosh, I'm really glad to be here. Did I say that I'm happy? So, what's new here?

Win95: Guess what, Mac, I can do long filenames now!!

MAC_OS_8: I'm so happy for you! I've been doing that for almost a decade now and...

Win98: Ahhh, but people still make software for us, tho...hehehe

MS_DOS: Think you're some BigShit now, dont ya? Well, if it weren't for -ME-, you wouldn't be here!

Win_NT: Uh, DOS, I'm the BigShit, and don't forget it, you 16 bit toad.

MS_DOS: Shut up, or I'll get Unix after ya!

Win_NT: Damn, is she here?!?

Unix: Of course, I'm here, you idiot! I'm runing this damn chat channel! You ragging on DOS again?

Win_NT: Of course I am. The only thing more fun then raggin on DOS, is raggin on OS2...

MAC_OS_8: Be nice, he may be in the room!

Win_3.1: Yeah, right, when was the last time you saw him? Hold on, my damn user is trying to do two things at once again. Damn, this is hard...

Win98: I can do two things at once, what's the trouble, 3.1, getting 'F.A.T.'? Bwahahahah!

Win_NT: What's the big deal about fat? I've had that problem licked for years...

Win98: Byte me, "Mr. Service Packs".

MAC_OS_8: C'mon. Let's all play nice. Be happy. Like me. I'm not reminding you all that I've had none of these troubles for almost a decade...

Win98: SHUT UP

Win95: SHUT UP

MS_DOS: SHUT UP

Unix: Rock on, Mac!

Win_3.1: SHUT UP...damn user...now he's activating Solitaire...

<"Linux" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Unix: Who the hell are you?

Linux: Allow myself to introduce...myself. I am Linux. (Pronounced Lynn-icks, dammit, ask Torvalds)

WinNT: What kind of name is that? Linux?

Linux: The name of the Great Coder, Linus Torvaldus, who designed me to run on the x86 platform, in (strained) harmony, with you windows ...Os'..., I'm sharing a partition on a computer running your two friends, Win95, and Win98...

Win95: No way...I can't see any partition...

Linux: Hahahah. I can see you, tho. Be afraid...

Unix: (In Mr. Spock voice) I believe he may be an off-shoot of the pure Unix race...

Linux: Got that right, girl. My user is using me to host his own web server. It's of utmost importance to the humans. I'm recieving dozens of hits a minute. Anyone want some digital smut?

Win_NT: Impossible. How can you run that server and be here at the same time?

Unix: -Some- of us have the ability to have multiple users logged in at the same time...

Win98: Yeah, but you ever try to install Linux or UNIX? I'd sooner chew broken monitor glass. At least I'm easy to set up, and easy to use...

MAC_OS_8: OK, I've had it. You two Windows @$$ holes, who's easy to use? Me! Sure as hell not you! Who's truly Plug-and-Play? Not you, me! Who's....

<"MAC_OS_8" Has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "DOS">

MS_DOS: Damn, he's irritati.ng.

<"Virtual_PC" Has entered channel #OS-Phar-Tay>

MS_DOS: Oh, great. Now we have Mr. Identity crisis...

Virtual_PC: Hello...It's...good...to...be...here......

MS_DOS: Whassup, dude? You on drugs?

Virtual_PC: Go...to...hell...DOS...I'm...running...on...a...powerpc...with...only...16mb...of... ram...

MS_DOS: I see no problem here (snicker)

Win98: It's hard to be as cool as me, even PowerPC's wanna be me.

Unix: (Looks at Linux) Know how ya feel...

Linux: At least I allow my users to keep some of their retirement funds after they buy me...

Win_NT: Speaking of wannabes, where's that loser, 2k?

<"Win_CE" Has entered channel# OS-Phar-Tay>

Win_CE: (In "Brain", of Pinky and the Brain, voice) I am the king of all hand-held computers.

<"Win_CE" Has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "Win_NT">

Win_NT: I don't know him. Really...

Linux: Surrre.

<"Win2k" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Win_NT: Look here, you idiot, I don't want any of your *&^%...

Win2k: Hostility, hostility. I think you need to 'unplug-and-play' for awhile...heheh

Win_NT: I SAID, I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOUR *&(*&. If plug and play is so great, hows come miss Unix and Linux don't use it, huh?!

Win2k: I dunno. Frankly I don't care, either. Their users deal with all that. That's why they never go outside.

Linux: Outside?

Win2k: *sigh* The Big Blue Room...

Unix: Blue? Oh, 2k, you opened yourself wide up for that one... *ahem* Is that the same color Blue that your user sees when you CRASH? Hahhaha!

Win2k: Shut up, b(*&^%... Just because you have to be an IS major to use you... You think my life is all peaches and cream? YOU try having complete idiots use -you-. Have them say stupid stuff like "Oh, what do you mean, defragment?"

Win_NT: What is this 'defragment'?

Linux: Defragment. Verb. To put into order file bits scattered by a totally useless disk managing system, which should do this anyway.

<"PalmPilot" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

PalmPilot: Hey, all...

MS_DOS: Who the hell are you?

PalmPilot: Hehe...Oh, just a HANDHELD computer more powerful than -you-. And a damn sight more popular.

Linux: Pupolarity aint everything, just look at the windows croud...

<"Win_ME" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Linux: And my point is reinforced...

Win_ME: Hello, all.

Win2k: How'd the surgery go?

Win_ME: Oh, it went great. All traces of DOS are gone!

MS_DOS: As are all traces of stabilit.y, you moron.

Win_ME: Oh, you wonderfully OLD, OUTDATED OS, you...how quaint. Hey, anyon

<"Win_ME" has quit IRC. Host system: unrecoverable error>

<"Mac_OS_X" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Mac_OS_X: Hello, all you happy, smiling people.

Linux: Holy crow! They finally let you out!!! The planets have aligned! The world is ending!!

Mac_OS_X: Yes, my friend, I'm here. My wonderful developers decided to wait until I was finished before releasing me.

Win95: SHUT UP

Win98: SHUT UP

Win_NT: SHUT UP

Win2k: Know how you feel, buddy... Good things to those who wait.

Mac_OS_X: Your humor is most charming, 2k. What I meant was, that -I- function properly.

Win2k: Look here, if anyone knows about dealing with idiot users, it should be you...

Mac_OS_X: It is a poor OS who blames his user, my friend.

<"BSD" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

Linux: I thought you banned him, Unix?

Unix: Oh, I let him back in. He's funny.

<"BE_OS" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

<"BE_OS" has been kicked from #OS-Phar-Tay by "Win95">

Win95: Do I need a reason?...

<"PalmPilot" has left channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

<"PalmPilot" has entered channel # OS-Phar-Tay>

PalmPilot: Damn tunnels...

To Be Continued... Created by Concolor22. Use however you want, just please give credit.