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Captain Pie (Alternate universe)
Originally Posted by First Lieutenant Superior Izwzyzx
Ye Soviets may be brave warriors, but ye be no match for Captain Pie!
In the Alternate Universe, Captain Pie is an army captain.
Early life
Captain Pie was born into a military family. He was pressured into joining the army by his father, the late Colonel Pie, who was a retired army colonel.
He was a star student of the Alternate Universe Gammatropolis Military Academy, where he graduated with full marks.
Military career
He started out in the Army as Private First Class Pie sometime in the 1950s. He fought in World War 2 as a corporal. He then fought in the 2000 Alternate Universe Iraq War as Master Sergeant Pie, when the communist United States of Yes! tried to conquer Iraq to enforce its control over the Middle East and to prevent the Soviet Democratic Republican Democracy from establishing democracy in the region.
In 2003, he was promoted to Lieutenant Pie and put into an important station in some Secret Governmental Conspiracy Base. In 2005, he was promoted again to captain and made the commander of the Secret Governmental Conspiracy Base. The purpose of the SGCB appears to be to either produce more nukes, to stop other countries from producing more nukes, or both.
Beliefs
He believes in More Nukes and opposes the Knights who Say "I Do". He also likes Orange Bread, however in the Alternate Universe orange bread does not carry AIDS.
He is strongly for military control of the government. He is very strongly against Piracy and often fights Pirates using the numerous Secret Government Conspiracy Base resources.
